Home 1 month

I can't believe we have been home 1 month. It sounds so short, yet has felt so long! Have things gotten better? In some ways yes, and in others, no. Jenna started Kindergarten, and it was a rough start, but she likes it now. She comes home exhausted and needs to sleep - but of course doesn't want to - and will fall asleep in the car if we run errands. What a strange sight it is, the 5 1/2 year old slumped over in her car seat, while the 20 month old babbles away.

Jenna still has a hard time being with Will for a long period of time. Short togetherness seems to work best, but of course is not always possible. She turns on a dime, and will love him one minute and hate him the next. He is still hitting and pinching. He is sleeping better, thank goodness. His temper tantrums have started in earnest, much to our dismay. Mostly around food - as in, give me more right now! He would eat all day non stop if he could. He likes all food, which is nice, but he still begs and carries on in the kitchen every day. I just read that kids appetites fall significantly by age 2 1/2, so there is hope!

We have had small doses of happy times here and there - only 10 or 15 minutes, maybe when Jen and Will are chasing each other in the house - but still mostly pull your hair out, hook me up to an alcohol IV every day. Have I mentioned the gray hair that is growing???

It has been one hell of a month.

When is Kindergarten??

I find myself looking forward to the day Jen starts school. She'll be more independent, gain confidence, yadda yadda....but really its just to see she and Will separated for a time. They just go at each other. Which is amazing considering they have only known each other for 11 days.

Will has his first dr. appt. on Friday, and Jenna gets to meet her teacher. A big day for both.

We've been home a week...

We've been home 1 week, which means today is the day Greg goes back to work. And today is the day my anxiety level is thru the roof. It has been sooooo hard this week. Soooo miserable, it feels like we've been living in a nightmare, and yet we chose this?

How many tears can we all cry in one day? Jenna has turned petulant, and doesn't want to share, even though she is playing with baby toys. Will still wants to hit and pinch her all the time, and I just want to pull out the gray hair that is now growing on my head.

The upside of yesterday, we all laughed 2 times. Does that balance out the tears?

How bad can it get??

We are miserable. There, I said it. All 4 of us. Happy Will is gone right now. He has become anxious and whiny. He is fighting naps and bedtime, whereas in China he was a champion sleeper. Tonight just sobbing in Greg's arms. He is hitting, pinching and throwing - and we are just so tired of it. I didn't expect this level of grief after 2 weeks, but here it is. He is clearly unhappy and struggling, and so are we. Jenna barely tolerates him, and tells us daily she doesn't want a little brother, doesn't want to share, doesn't want him in her room!!

If I wasn't so tired and frustrated I'd laugh. This morning I truly dreaded getting out of bed. I can only hope I feel differently tomorrow.

Sad isn't it?

Jenna and Will

We are home, and we are exhausted!

We made it home on Saturday, thank goodness! We flew into LA Friday night, and then stayed in a hotel. Forever in the immigration line, till someone took pity on us and a few others with babies. Ordered room service at the hotel at 10:30pm, and it was heaven! Scarfed every last bite.

Our family met us at the airport, which was great. Miss Jenna was so excited, and then she cried because she was nervous about her new little brother. Who could blame her? Things got rough later in the day, lots of tears for all of us. We all went to bed by 8pm. Will slept until 10:30 the next day - a feat I did not think possible!

Will is such an explorer, and I know that one day it will be wonderful, but right now it is really tough. He is touching EVERYTHING, knowing that some of it is off limits. Today, Monday, he was hitting and pinching Jenna like crazy. Not really to hurt her, but to get her attention or make her move out of the way. In any case, lots of no's and redirection. Jenna was sick of him, and we were sick of each other! He still despises getting his hair/face wet in the bath. He was in foster care for over a year, so they had to have washed his hair at some point - but he absolutely hates it. How long can a kid go with greasy hair??

Fatigue is still a major issue, which doesn't help our mood. Greg and I hit a wall about 3pm the last 2 days, so I hope it gets better soon.

We keep saying the mantra, things WILL change, things WILL get better. And I know that in my head, but it is hard to swallow. Jenna cried today that she didn't want a baby brother, and she didn't want to live with us any more. How many times can my heart break for her? Or for myself?

My bed is calling me....

Fw: Our last night in China

--- On Thu, 8/6/09, BethAnn Simpson <gregbeth2004@yahoo.com> wrote: From: BethAnn Simpson <gregbeth2004@yahoo.com> Subject: Our last night in China To: gregbeth2004.will@blogger.com Date: Thursday, August 6, 2009, 8:28 AM We have just finished our last night in Guangzhou!  We leave Friday night at 6pm to fly to LA, and then home on Sat.  Today we had our appt. with the US Consulate, where we got Will's visa for his return trip home.  He really didn't want to cooperate; he is a man on the go after all.   There is a typhoon heading just north of us that will hit tomorrow, so we are crossing our fingers and toes that we can get out of here on time!   I'm attaching some last pictures, one of Will holding onto the chair as he poops.  I know - how sick am I??  But it is so damn funny, he grunts like a caveman.  There is no confusion over what he is doing, and I'm sure one day he will be thrilled that I am commenting on his bodily functions.   Thank you for all the good wishes, it has meant the world to us!